??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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