just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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