Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
