using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
