It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
