pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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