I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
