My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
