i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
