i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
