2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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