Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
