I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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