How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
