Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
