Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
