At least make sure they are 18
Why
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
