Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
