Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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