I must be too annoying 4 u.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
