Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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