One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
