real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
