FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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