Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
