I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
