tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
