She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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