He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
