I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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