I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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