im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Who died my cat blue again?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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