when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
nutella sex= disaster
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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