I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
