There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
