i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize