some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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