So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
