Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
