That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
