As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
