She said her name was "party"
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
