I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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