So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
