Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
