Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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