she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
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Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
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I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
My life is pants optional.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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