I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
God, you're like boner-b-gone
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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