im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just want nice things and good sex
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
