The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
that is very illegal...i love you.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
