ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
