I'm really into asian looking animals
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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