ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Randomize
