I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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