There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
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She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
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Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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