Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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