One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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