I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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