Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
