p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
