he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize