i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
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We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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