Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
