If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
